Can we get this thing up to 88 miles an hour !?!?!

I lived in Las Vegas NV for about a year. I wasn't really looking forward to it...at all. But one day, while still at my house in Florida,  TMC was playing one of my favorite movies...EVER.! 1963’s "Viva Las Vegas”….staring Elvis Presley and Ann-Margret. For those of you that haven't seen it...well...you suck! I recommend you go out right now and buy it! Because, I don't know if you know this but...you are pretty much dead inside.

Back on point!!! I started to watch the movie (I have probably seen 100 times) with new eyes. I began to fantasize that this is what Vegas is gonna be like. Not that I thought I was going to turn into the beautiful Ann-Margret with sick dance moves....or Elvis Presley was going to come walking in on my dance rehearsal and spontaneously break into.... "C’mon everybody & snap your fingers now!"...I mean that's just stupid...for goodness sakes the man is dead. But I did picture seeing some shadows of the 1950’s and 1960’s as I finally got the chance to walk down Fremont Street.... BUT NOPE!!!...I got this

....a giant dome sky of light dominated by images of playing cards and giant florescent boobies. Not exactly like having dirty martinis with Frank Sinatra at a piano bar is it? I did however get to see Vegas Vic! But even old cowboy Vic lost his nostalgia underneath the florescent dome.

 Ugh...parties hosted by Milton Berle have been replaced with 3 hour lines outside of TAO. The shock and excitement of watching the Showgirls dance in elaborate barely there costumes have been replaced with "Come and get a prime rib dinner while being humped by one of our stripper! Only 9.99!"....it’s gross. No more Betty Grable doing cabaret. I mean look at that picture! Ummmhmmm! Get it Betty!!!...

Magic shows that consisted of a guy in a top hat sawing a girl in half while the crowed oooo'd and ahhh'd...now what...Criss Angle? Ew...don’t even get me started. His skull and tribal douche bag store is a big giant dump on the chest of Las Vegas Blvd.

Noooo…there were no rock ‘n’ roll loving troubled teens. No hip chicks wavin’ scarves startin’ drag races.

I guess you can still see Elvis…and the Beatles…if you enjoy seeing a bunch of flexible Europeans fly around and hang from strings. The Rat Pack still plays at the Golden Nugget…even if the guy who plays Sammy Davis Jr. looks like Pooty Tang. 

But if you go just a little further down Fremont Street, past the florescent dome of boobies, you will come to the Fremont Street Gallery ( I call it a sad reminder of what was)…

and that’s where my shadow was. A small piece of “Viva Las Vegas”…a tiny postcard of the demolished “Silver Slipper Gambling Hall”… and for that small piece of retro Vegas thats been kept alive…well…there’s only one thing to do.

Elvis take it away!!! “Come on everybody clap your hands real loud!”…* clap clap clap clap*. To the good ole days of Fremont Street!