Attention a la peinture: Mr. Brent Lee Marcy

Dear Mr. Marcy:

                 

            At the request of Mrs. Pilarczyk, I am sending you a list of demands, to make sure her stay with you is a comfortable one. The list is as follows:

1. When you pick her up at the airport, she would like you to provide her with a Segway. After such a long trip of sitting on the plane, she likes to keep her leg muscles in a relaxed state. Therefore, walking to the car would be completely unacceptable.
2.  Mrs. Pilarczyk would also like Gabrielle’s 1993 hit “Dreams” playing as she enters the car.
3. She would like the cars temperature to be at 74 degrees and her seat reclined at a 90 degree angle.
4. Her luggage should be put in the trunk in size order. Preferably, largest on bottom and smallest on top.
5. Mrs. Pilarczyk also request that an arrangement of 11 (not 12 or 13) assorted cupcakes (at room temperature) be provided upon entering your house.
6. AC unit must be programmed at night as follows: 11pm-12am: 74 degrees, from 12am-5am: 75 degrees, and from 5am-8am: 76 degrees. This is to slowly acclimate herself to the change in climates.
7. Mrs. Pilarczyk would like to make sure that the freezer is stocked with an adequate amount of round shaped ice cubes (not moon shaped ice or square ice…this is a VERY important detail).
8. As for sleeping arrangements...the only request she has is that you provide her with an orthopedic pillow in a PURE WHITE pillowcase ( this is to insure that the pillow will magically transform itself at night...INTO...one of the fluffy clouds that float around Jesus' home called...heaven ), as well as the unicorn Pillow Pet for nighttime snuggles.

Thank you for your time and patience in making sure that Mrs. Pilarczyk stay with you is a pleasant one. If you have any questions or concerns you can reach me at (407) POP-OFFF                            

Sincerely,

Mrs. Pennyapple, Personal Assistant to Mrs Pilarczyk