Happy Birthday Self!

If you could go back 10 years, what would you tell yourself?

I hear this question a lot…but I haven’t given it much thought. I often wondered if it was because I never had any regrets about anything that’s happened so far. So, if I don’t have any regrets and there’s nothing I would do differently, then what on earth would I want to tell the 18 year old Heather?

Of course I’ve made mistakes, some big ones, but I often fear that if I hadn’t made these mistakes…I wouldn’t be who I am. That thought sounds weird to me sometimes…most people fear making mistakes and I fear never making enough of them.

 I knew high school wasn’t the end-all, be-all of everything. I always thought of it as a small blip on the screen of my Holter monitor. So I didn’t really care too much about being popular or going to parties. I would get caught up in the usual friend drama, but it never seemed to keep my attention for too long.  The only thing I cared about was getting a job at 15, saving money to get my first car, and making sure my tuition for TC was paid for. Even then I always knew no matter what life would throw me (and life threw me a lot of shit!) I’d be okay. I was always good at 3 things: 1) surviving 2) having mad quips 3) and always choosing a cute hairstyle.

So here I am…on my Golden birthday…28 on the 28^th....  and I'm going to ask and answer this cliche time travel question. Here is what I would tell 18 year old Heather...

1. Don't be so angry all the time. Not everything in life is an epic fight to the finish line. You choose how to react towards someone who is being negative towards you. If you give them nothing then they have nothing.

2. Don’t take everything so personally. People can’t help it if they have diarrhea of the mouth. You need to pick your battles carefully, because in the end the only person who’s worn out from the battle is you.  

3. Don’t be so dismissive. Nobody is perfect…no one can say/do things perfectly at the right place, at the right time, ALL the time. You would expect someone to be understanding with you…so give them the same understanding. You know the people that care about you would never intentionally hurt you.  

4. Take more pictures! And for the love of God, find more times (like the ones in those pictures) to laugh and be silly…it’s okay to say that you want to have a little fun.

5. Try and make yourself more approachable to others and listen to what people are trying to tell you. It might be something you need to hear.

6. Not everything has to be planed out by you. Let someone else take control. Try to enjoy just going with the flow…you may actually be pleasantly surprised by the joy it will bring you.   

   7. And most importantly, listen a little harder to what you want for yourself. Realize that choosing a different path in life doesn’t mean that you are giving up or failing. Don’t be afraid to say what it is you really want for yourself…and then go get it. Don’t waste time doing what you THINK you have to do, rather than what makes you happy.  If you don’t do this the only person you’ll be disappointing is yourself.

The last couple of years have brought something new into my life. I was able to find peace, acceptance, forgiveness, and a better understanding of people and the things around me. I use to think these qualities made a person weak. I have now realized that these qualities give you better handle on your life. They give you the ability to let go and move forward…instead of always standing still with your anger.

 For the future Heather I would like to say….

If you continue to keep your eyes, ears, and heart open…then you will continue to become a better and happier person.

Happy Birthday Self =)