My mother always says “Each person’s life goes through their own seasons.”
This statement always makes me think. I often wonder if we view our lives as “I should be” or “I choose to be”…and does either one lead us to the Holy Grail?… true happiness. Let’s say God (or whatever you believe in…Tom Cruise volcano alien spirits) came to you today and told you that you will die at the age of 70? What would you do with your time? And I’m not asking if you would go help build toilets in Ethiopia. I’m asking how you would navigate your life from the moment you received your expiration date. Would you change anything about your life? Would you be the person that does what they should do and strive towards fitting “the mold”… or would you choose your own path… indulging all the different sides of yourself, regardless of what others think of your choices.
I’m sure I don’t have to say it…everyone’s prideful answer to that question is probably the same (and in all honesty it’s my answer too). Let’s face it, from the time you were 18 (maybe even before that age) you have pushed to be the one to make your own choices in regards to your life. But really think about that for second…are you really being honest with yourself? Has there ever been a moment where you felt like maybe you had gotten yourself a little lost. That one day you woke up and realized it was someone else’s plan you were following...not yours…and you didn’t even realize it.
From the moment we are old enough to understand, we are given some version of a “Life Plan” This plan is normally given to us by our teachers, parents, family, friends, and complete strangers that like to put their 2 cents in. The idea of this “Plan” is to help you navigate your lives…it’s like the blue print. We are told that WHEN we accomplish these things then we are guaranteed to find happiness. The “Life Plan normally looks something like this…
- Finish high school
- Go to college
- Pick a career
- Home/Car
- Get married/have kids
- Make enough money so your family is comfortable
- Retire at an age where you can enjoy your retirement
If only life was as simple as just making a list and following it.
This plan works for some people, I’m not arguing that. They cross one thing off the list and go for the other…and it works for them.
But what if this plan doesn’t fit who you are? What if you accomplish one of these things…but the next thing never follows? What if you feel stuck? What if you feel like your being called in a different direction? Then, when we realize what that pull in the other direction means…we immediately feel fear. Fear that if we step off the line that has been carefully drawn for us even for a second…we are doomed…we have failed…and we have disappointed.
I’m not just talking out of my ass about this subject…I actually speak from personal experience. Right after my car accident I was very very unhappy and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I realized that it was because I had gotten myself into a place where I wasn’t being honest with myself anymore. I thought I was…but I was afraid to say what I really wanted, what I really brought me joy, and the path that I would like to be taking. I was terrified to tell anyone that as far as it came to a job…I loved working in retail. No one wants to hear that! It’s considered a part-time job you do while you’re in college…not a career. But I loved it…as crazy as it made me; I enjoy the chaos of it all. And saying those words out loud…telling people this was what I wanted was NOT an easy thing to do. While it was the most terrifying thing I had to do…it was the most freeing
I always feel like I don’t want to just do one thing with my life…I want to experience everything. It wasn’t just the job situation that gave me inner turmoil. I also wanted to be a stay at home mom. No one wants to hear that either. You say “I’m a homemaker” and you get the “ohhhhh really…hmmm” I feel sorry for you face. Followed by the “do you have plans to do something else when your kids are older?” I am constantly awestruck by the amount of judgment I get from others. I mean I am a VERY opinionated person, and in the same breath, I respect the choices that other people make to best suit their lives. I’m not them, so another person’s decision doesn’t affect me in the slightest. I realize that no one is ever going to agree with what you choose. And from my experience, the person dishing out the judgment is struggling with some regretful choices of their own. Apparently it is still popular to project personal failures and unhappiness onto others. I find it exhausting but I guess others find it necessary.
Here are some of the biggest mistakes I made...
· Never ever be afraid to say what makes you happy (even if you know the people you care about wont understand your decisions)
· Listen to yourself and be honest…that’s a big one for me. By not listening to myself I got to a point where I was so lost I just stopped functioning all together. I had no clue who I was anymore.
·
· You are never too old to change things
· Always ask yourself if you are doing this for the right reasons.
· Never waste time on a plan that isn’t your own.
· We all have responsibilities…but don’t make that an excuse. Control the things that you can control. Everybody has a little bit of a say-so in choosing the quality of their life.
Which leads me back to the wise words of my mother…“Each person’s life goes through their own seasons.” Your life changes, you change, your seasons change.
One minute I might want to dedicate a part of my life to my job, and the next minute I might want to dedicate another part of my life to my family. I might choose to go back to school when I’m 50 and learn a new trade. I might become a Photographer for a little while. I don’t know what the future will bring, but I will embrace whatever season my life is in at the moment.
In the end…my big thing is and always will be to be able to say…”My life experienced some beautiful seasons…and I didn’t disappoint myself”
No comments:
Post a Comment