Are You a Positive-ish Patty?

I am positive that I just woke up and am wearing absolutely NO make-up...enjoy. 

I woke up dreading this morning. Why, you may ask? Because I have to go to the grocery store. No big deal, right? Yeah, it's not a big deal...if you don't have kid(s)! Solving the epic question of "How does one shop with a toddler?" is like trying to solve the riddle of the Sphinx.
I use to enjoy going to the grocery store. I could probably stand there, in the produce isle, just starting at all the fruits and vegetables, thinking of all the amazing things I can make, for hours....but NOT anymore. When I think of going to the grocery store, I don't see endless isles of delicious creative culinary possibilities, I see a battle ground, I see possible missiles down every isle, just waiting for some little guys hands to grab them and throw at some poor unsuspecting shopper.
Like a war vet, as I travel down each isle, I have 'Supermarket Sweep' flashbacks, running, grabbing things in a panic, trying to decided what I REALLY need, and what can I leave behind. After I'm done, exhausted, wounded, I bring my groceries into the house to survey the damage and count the casualties (meaning all things that I have forgotten to get and must now plan a second trip to the store...or send my back up in to get it...my husband).

So, for today's trip I'm going to do what my husband aways tell me and "Think positive, Heather!"
Okay...ill think positive...here's what I'm positive about:

1. I am positive that Knox will try to lick every part of the shopping cart.
2. I am positive that the only thing Knox will want to grab out of the cart is the raw meat or harmful chemicals
3. I am positive that I will get the "Why don't you buckle your kid in?" look from other shoppers, then I will shoot them the "Oh! Is that all have to do? Why didn't I think if that?!? Oh wait, that's right, its because my kid decided he was going to show off his genius powers by learning how to unbuckle himself, and just in case you didn't know my son is also a contortionist, he can squeeze himself out of the cart straps no matter how tight I make." So, there you go! 
4. I am positive that halfway through my shopping list, Knox will poop, and it will be toxic (biochemical warfare) 
5. I am positive that once I reach the longest and slowest checkout line, Knox will have a complete meltdown and try to nosedive out of the shopping cart.  

Well, I'm off!